Well, I’ve just had the most heartbreaking experience of my
life and would have been home in St.
Louis by now was it not for God having different plans
which I’ll tell you about later.I
arrived at the Ouaga hospital Friday afternoon after hearing from the hospital
that the “grandmother” was not capable of providing patient care to Lucie – she
needed someone else.I was taking over Lucie’s
care accompanied by 17-year old Josie who would assist with laundry
and Moret to French translation.I found
Lucie, our severely malnourished, dehydrated, raw-bottomed 19 month old, worse again and now with a tube through her
nose to her stomach, an IV in her head, and one eye swollen shut from the IV.The missing layers of skin on her bottom and
upper legs did not seem to be healing.I
had 3 “Mama” roommates, 1 seeming to be in charge – let’s call her Queen.She made it very clear they were not pleased
with Josie and I being there.I’m not
sure, but they may have initially thought I was not staying but leaving this 17
year old to care for Lucie.When I
explained I was staying, they shook their heads, clearly saying – Yeah right,
let’s see how long the white woman survives.For a couple hours, we had no Doctor or nurse, so I was winging it with
Lucie.Can I give her water?What does she want when she cries?Am I to give her medicine?And of course, the Mamas made it very clear
when they disapproved of what I was doing.I could hear the word “Nasara”, white woman, followed by laughing, and
knew they were talking about me.When
the nurse arrived (let’s call this one The Barker), she also was very unhappy,
commented it was better when the old woman was here by herself (not possible),
and chewed Josie out.She also may not
have realized or believed I was staying.Fortunately, instead of upsetting me, it ticked me off and challenged me
to “just show them”.
At 6:00 p.m.,
the Barker lectured us on making sure the cerelac was ready every 6 hours, before
she arrived to put it into Lucie’s tube.She dragged Josie to a room where she harshly instructed her how to
prepare the cerelac.She also demanded
to know why we did not have gloves and cotton with us for hygienic purposes, and
then showed us how to apply the mercurochrome (sp?) to her raw skin morning and
night.Poor Lucie just quietly whimpered
through it all – she didn’t have the strength to cry.
Sleeping arrangements were me on the tiny bed with Lucie, and
Josie on the hard floor with a blanket to lie on.Although
the toilet is a hole in the ground, I’m thrilled to see there is another one
besides the first one I had been in with swarming maggots.I was also shocked to see a shower head.It smelled like urine, but was better than a
bucket.The mosquitoes were very bad, so
I prayed for protection against malaria.The heat was tolerable.We were
up at midnight for Nurse “Barker’s” routine feeding and medication.Throughout the night, Lucie wet the bed we shared, had diarrhea, and whimpered
for a tiny drink of water.I can’t
imagine what diarrhea is like on a raw, horribly sore bottom.Sometime through the night, a nurse banged on
the door and yelled “temperatures” to which everyone jumps to find
thermometers and take temperatures.Fortunately,
I saw the action and was prepared for this drill.By 5:30
a.m., the floor cleaners made their rounds – everyone scrambles to pick their bedding and belongs off the floor and leaves the room or crawls onto the bed while they
finish.I didn’t sleep a wink in my new
surroundings.
After Lucie’s 6:00
a.m. feeding, she vomited bucketsful several times.With no “patient care”, Josie and I handled
this on our own. Josie was out early to
wash the soiled clothes and blankets in our bucket and gets them hung on a
clothesline. Unpreparied, we waited anxiously for
them to dry as I had to get creative with towels, etc. to lay under Lucie.She cannot have anything on her raw bottom.
By then, we had somehow won the women over – I guess they
just needed to see we could do it.The
queen began to talk to us which seemed to give the others permission.Of course, the Queen was the only one who
speaks French; so it was no big party.But, she even offered us lunch as did one of the others!
Throughout the day, I caressed Lucie’s arms and face, talking
to her as quietly as I could, and using a wet cloth on her palms all of which
she seemed to enjoy – she lay still and either opened her eyes or whimpered
lightly when I stopped.I loved it when
I put my finger in her hand and she gripped it with the little strength she had.I was trying to convince myself that this all
somehow comforted her.Other than that,
she just layed there and thankfully slept quite a bit.I tried to switch her to different sides so
the eye swelling would transfer from one to the other.Unfortunately, eventually both eyes were
nearly swollen shut.When she whimpered,
I knew she wanted water.I had to sit
her up on her raw bottom and hold her head so it wouldn’t fall back in order to give her
tiny sips.When she was done, she slowly
lifted her hand to swing at the cup so I’d know.She seemed so strong for such a weak
girl.I guess I’d be tough too after
what she’d been through.
At the 12:00 tube
feeding, I explained the vomiting to the nurse.She suggested possibly she'd been feeding her through the tube too quickly and took a slower
approach.I thought this was successful
until mid-afternoon when the vomiting began again and the diarrhea was
increasing. The mamas stayed at their
own little beds just watching.However,
it gets bad enough that one of them even went to look for a nurse – none were
to be found.I was alone because Josie was
trying to keep up with the laundry.By 5:00 pm, I was in the shower, crying
and praying.I didn’t dare cry in front
of the mamas or Josie.I prayed because
I didn’t think I could handle this and yet I can’t stand the thought of leaving
Lucie or leaving anyone else with her.The “grandmother” did not comfort Lucie at all – just let her lay there,
even attempted to hit her once when she cried. The others informed me she didn’t even wash the
soiled clothes? I know I need to do
this, so I’m praying and crying out again for God to heal Lucie or take her quickly and to
comfort her in the meantime.Why does
she need to continue suffering like this?God, do something.
At 1:00 a.m.,
Nurse "Barker" asked me to bring Lucie to her medical room.Her IV has spoiled and needs to be
replaced.She also takes her feeding
tube out, stating it needs to be replaced.She applies a tight tourniquet to her wrists, looking for a vein,
sticking a needle in her wrists, attempting to draw blood.When this doesn’t work, she tries the other
wrist, her ankles, her neck, head, and chest.With each prick, Lucie lets out a pitiful “mama” that sounded just like
a little lamb.I try to ignore the
feeling of nausea, but soon fear I’m going to pass out and have to leave the room.It passes and I can return.The nurse finally gives up, says she cannot
find a vein and sends me back to the room with Lucie – no IV, no feeding
tube.I’m not sure what she is
intending, but I’m so thankful.At last,
I know the Lord is intervening.Either
he wants to heal her without all these tubes and needles or wants her to die in
peace.
I’m even more excited the next morning.Queen suggests I get in the food line with everyone else and get
some of the hospital food to try feeding Lucie with a spoon.All the mamas and I line up outside the
nurses station with the dish we had to bring from home and receive a bowl of porridge
for Lucie.I’m still not sure what was
in the porridge, but Lucie actually ate half the bowl!I held her on my lap while she ate – I’d
learned how to pick her up without hurting her bottom.I wondered if her mother ever held her.I put some porridge in her water also because
she’s drinking a lot more now.The
swelling is gone from her eyes and she seems much more alert.Wow – I’m sure God is going to perform a
miraculous healing!We just needed to
get rid of all the tubes and needles.
By noon,
something changes.Lucie’s eyes are
different.They are still open, but they
don’t seem to be focusing, like she’s in a coma or something.I try to feed her again – she no longer uses
her hand to tell me no, just keeps her lips closed.Soon, the buckets of diarrhea begin over and
over.I go find a nurse to tell them
about the diarrhea – he tells me “That’s not good.I’ll get some medicine for you.”He never comes.Another nurse had said they would try another
IV – not that I really wanted them to – but he never came either.I’m starting to get the picture.About 3:00
pm, Lucie starts a constant whimpering groan; she’s now lying
completely still; she doesn’t seem to be responding to anything.I finally break down. Lucie is dying and all I can do is watch.The Queen wasn’t in the room; but the others
went silent.One comes over and tries to
comfort me in Moret.Queen returns and
obviously the others tell her I’m crying.She comes straight to me, sits down, and kindly tells me I shouldn’t
cry; I need to be strong for Lucy; if she dies, she will be with God.Somehow, this calms me down somewhat.She asks the other ladies to go get a
Dr.Apparently, they had already tried,
because they explain something to her, she accepts, and no Dr. – what were they
going to do anyway?Queen also asked
them to turn the fans on, I’m sweating buckets; but apparently the nurse also
told them to keep the fans off as Lucie’s body was now very cold.It’s pretty clear, the doctors and nurses
know there is nothing else we can do; but are afraid to tell me.All I can do is hold her hand and caress her
face, praying constantly that she is not in pain and that this will go
quickly.At one point, I could swear she
looked at me.At another, I know she
tried to grip my finger again – this was the comfort I needed.During the last hour, water and some foul
stuff continued to come up – I’d hold her head up so she wouldn’t choke on
it.At 5:05 on Sunday, August 10, Lucie took a painful breath,
followed by a deep sigh; one more painful breath and it was over.I announce to the silent, now respectful mamas,
“C’est fini”.I went to the first nurse
I could find, fortunately one of the very kindest – I couldn’t talk, but she
said “C’est fini?”I nodded and she
offered kind words – the only one who didn’t tell me not to cry.I returned to the room, doing my best to keep
my crying under control, and wait for the Doctor.
A jerk of a Doctor, arrives 20-30 minutes later, never
acknowledges me, checks her heart and pulse, and leaves the room.I find some nurses to find out what we do
with the corpse.It’s our
responsibility.When they realize it
will be a minimum of 2 hours before Ruth arrives from Yako to get us, they decide I can
carry Lucie to an air-conditioned room to prevent the quick decay.Although Queen continued to remind me not to
cry because Lucie is now with God, she is very kind as were several nurses and
a Doctor.Even the phone center girl is
incredibly kind as I go to call Ruth to come get us.Josie and I then sit in the air-conditioned room
alone, waiting.At least I can cry
here.Ruth arrives and I carry Lucie’s
corpse home on my lap the 2 hours to Yako – it wasn’t as morbid as it
sounds.In fact, I found myself still
patting her back as if I could comfort her.Once in Yako, its 10:00
and a torrential rain has begun.We
drive Lucie to her Father’s village where there is no electricity, so it’s
pitch black.In the pouring down rain, I
hand Lucie to a topless woman who they had awakened from her sleep (no idea who
she was).The Father knew better than to
approach me.And that was that.
For a minute, it really upset me to hand Lucie over to
people who obviously did not care (how could they have allowed this to
happen?).But, I quickly remembered, it
was just a body.It finally hit me – it
was over.God came through.Lucie is now sitting on his lap, knowing what
it is to be loved at last.I still ball
when I think of how much she suffered.The images of her those last 3 days will probably never go away; but I
am so thankful I was there during her final days and, yes, very happy she is
now in Heaven.I’m looking forward to
seeing the new Lucie someday.
So, Sunday evening, I was thinking it’s just too hard
here.I’m calling home Monday and
planning my trip home.There was a nagging
part of me that thought, “oh, but what if there is another – I want to be
there.”
The very next morning at 8:00 a.m. Ruth asked if I was ready for another trip to
Ouaga.Assuming she was joking about all
the noise during the night, I said maybe; but she was serious. Our newest orphan, Barkwendi (meaning Praise
God) had come to us the Friday before, 8 days old and weighing 3 lbs.During the night Sunday, she did not eat at
all, never woke up, never cried, and never urinated.So, back to Ouaga I go, now with a 3 lb.
still baby on my lap.She was admitted
Monday afternoon and discharged Wednesday afternoon – PTL!She’d had an infection that was preventing
her from eating, which of course was making her very weak.She had been born at home, apparently
prematurely, and per the Doctor had a problem with the umbilical cord which had
filled her body with infection.If we
had not brought her in, she also would eventually have suffered from
malnutrition.But, she was now eating
well, pooping up a storm and cute as can be.
The neat part was everyone at the hospital knew me now.By the time I arrived Monday, everyone had
heard about Lucie.People were stopping
me everywhere to offer condolences – the guards at the gate, the nurses, the
doctors, the guy at the restaurant who cooked me an omelet each day, the girl
at the phone center, my old roommates who were still there.Everywhere I went, I had people to talk
to.They all wanted to know why I was
back.Everyone said “Didn’t you drive to
Yako last night?”When I explained why I
had returned, they responded “Bon Courage”.
Ruth stayed in town this time since we assumed it would only
be 2 days.She helped during the day,
and I stayed with Barkwendi during the night, sharing the bed with her
now.My new roommates were fine – I did
a few things wrong (by their standards) and got the treatment again, but it
wasn’t as bad as last time.It didn’t
help when I struggled with the French when they’re trying to tell me what I was
doing wrong.This time I did all the
laundry.Imagine me with my bucket full
of soiled diapers and sheets heading over to the washing area (a small
courtyard with 2 clotheslines and 2 faucets) to wash with all the Mamas!You can imagine the looks I got.They have this idea that white women are to
be served, not to serve.I’m sure I
didn’t do it exactly like I was supposed to, but I managed.It’s a
pretty humbling experience, knowing everyone in the whole place is watching
every move you make and criticizing everything you do differently from them;
but hopefully I earned their respect by doing it.
PTL – I’m now home in Yako.Unfortunately, we don’t anticipate getting to make up sleep with 2
babies here now.But, hey, they’re
healthy babies!I’d love to take off and
spend a few days in Ouaga again just for a break.Please pray I can make this happen some time
over the next couple weeks.
I’m sorry this is so long and dramatic.The whole Lucie thing kind of had me loosing
it and I just feel better if I can tell people the whole story.I think it’s therapeutic.Thank you for your prayers that got me
through, got Lucie to Heaven, and the healing that’s taking place in Barkwendi.
